Sex Toys for Men: An Honest Buying Guide
The best sex toy for men depends on what you want to feel. For most guys, a good stroker (also called a male masturbator) is the easiest and most satisfying place to start, followed by cock rings, prostate toys, and penis pumps. Each one does something different, and the right pick comes down to your body and your curiosity.
I'm Emily. I spent years behind the counter at a sexual-wellness shop, and the question I got asked more than any other, usually quietly and right before someone headed for the door, was some version of "so what should a guy actually get?" Here's the honest answer I used to give in person, minus the register line behind you.
What counts as a sex toy for men?
It's any toy designed to feel good on a penis, the perineum, or the prostate, solo or with a partner. The category is bigger than most people expect, and almost nobody who walked into my shop knew all of it existed. Here are the ones worth knowing:
- Strokers and masturbators: a sleeve, usually silicone or soft TPE, that you stroke along the shaft. Some are open-ended, some are enclosed in a hard case.
- Cock rings: a snug ring worn at the base that helps keep an erection firmer for longer. Some vibrate.
- Prostate massagers: curved toys that stimulate the prostate internally, often with a perineum arm on the outside.
- Penis pumps: a cylinder that uses suction to draw blood into the shaft, used for sensation and temporary firmness.
- Couples toys: vibrating rings and remote toys built to be used together during sex.
The main types, compared
This is the cheat sheet I wish I could have handed people. There's no single "best," only best for you.
| Type | What it does | Best for | Keep in mind |
|---|---|---|---|
| Stroker / masturbator | Wraps the shaft for internal-feeling stimulation | First-timers, solo nights, edging practice | Needs water-based lube, and the soft open ones tear if you rush cleaning |
| Cock ring | Keeps blood in the shaft for a firmer, longer erection | Guys who want more staying power, couples | Start with a stretchy one, never wear longer than 20 minutes |
| Prostate massager | Internal pressure on the prostate, often hands-free | Deeper, fuller orgasms and the curious | Go slow, use lots of lube, flared base only |
| Penis pump | Suction draws blood in for temporary firmness and sensation | Sensation play and pre-sex firmness | Results are temporary, over-pumping bruises, release slowly |
| Vibrating couples ring | Firmness for him plus clitoral buzz for a partner | Partnered sex and shared play | Fit matters, and the motor is often buzzier than it looks |
How to choose your first one
The guys who left happiest weren't the ones who bought the biggest thing on the wall. They were the ones who matched the toy to an honest want. A few questions I'd ask at the counter:
- Do you want a new sensation or more control? A male masturbator gives you a feeling your hand can't. A stretchy ring gives you firmness and lasting power.
- Solo or with a partner? If a partner is in the picture, a vibrating ring or a remote toy earns its keep fast.
- How adventurous are you feeling? Prostate play is the single most underrated thing I sold, and also the thing people were shyest about. More on that below.
- What's your lube situation? Almost every men's toy works better with lube, and silicone toys need water-based lube specifically. Silicone lube degrades silicone toys over time.
My honest first-timer pick: a mid-priced open-ended stroker and a bottle of water-based lube. It's forgiving, it's easy to clean, and it teaches you what you actually like before you spend more.
Materials and body safety (read this part)
This is the section I got firm about with every customer, because it's the one that matters for your health. Materials fall into two camps:
- Non-porous and body-safe: platinum silicone, ABS plastic, borosilicate glass, stainless steel. These don't harbor bacteria the way porous stuff does, and most can be cleaned thoroughly. This is what you want for anything going inside the body.
- Porous: many soft TPE and TPR sleeves, plus anything labeled "jelly." They feel great and cost less, but they can't be fully sanitized, so they're best for solo external use and should be replaced more often.
One rule I never bent: anything that goes in the butt needs a flared base so it can't get pulled in. I had to send more than one person to an urgent care conversation they really didn't want to have. If you're exploring anal toys or a prostate massager, that flared base is non-negotiable. And if a product smells strongly of chemicals or burnt plastic out of the box, trust your nose and skip it.
Keeping it clean so it lasts
The fastest way to ruin a good toy is lazy cleanup. The feel of a sticky, half-dried sleeve is a smell I can still conjure from the returns pile. Do this instead:
- Wash with warm water and a mild unscented soap or a dedicated toy cleaner after every single use.
- Turn open-ended sleeves inside out to clean them fully, then air-dry them completely before storing.
- Many soft sleeves like a light dusting of cornstarch (not talc) once dry to stay smooth.
- Store toys apart from each other, since some materials react when they touch. A cotton bag beats a plastic bag.
- Only boil or fully submerge a toy if the maker says it's waterproof and non-motorized. Motors and water don't mix unless it's rated for it.
Common mistakes I watched guys make
- Skipping lube. Dry friction is the number one reason a first toy gets a bad review. Use more than you think.
- Buying on size alone. Bigger isn't better if it doesn't fit how you actually like to be touched.
- Wearing a cock ring too long or too tight. Twenty minutes max, and never a rigid metal ring for your first time. Explore cock rings that stretch before you ever try a solid one.
- Over-pumping. With a pump, slow and gentle wins. Chasing a bigger number bruises tissue and teaches you nothing good.
- Going too fast with internal play. Warm up, breathe, and use far more lube than feels necessary.
FAQ
Are sex toys for men safe to use?
Yes, when you choose body-safe materials and clean them properly. Stick to non-porous silicone, glass, or steel for anything internal, use plenty of water-based lube, and always pick a flared base for anal toys. Most problems I saw came from skipped cleaning or rushing, not the toys themselves.
What's the best sex toy for a beginner?
A mid-priced open-ended stroker is the gentlest entry point. It's intuitive, easy to clean, and it shows you what you enjoy before you invest in anything fancier. Pair it with a good water-based lube and you're set.
Do cock rings actually work?
They do for a lot of guys. By slowing blood flow out of the shaft, a ring can make an erection feel firmer and last longer, and a vibrating one adds sensation for both partners. Start with a soft stretchy ring, keep it under 20 minutes, and take it off if anything feels numb or cold.
Can straight men use prostate toys?
Absolutely. The prostate is a pleasure center regardless of who you are or who you're with, and plenty of my happiest repeat customers were straight men who got curious. It has nothing to do with your sexuality and everything to do with how your body is built.
Will a penis pump make me permanently bigger?
No. A pump creates a temporary increase in firmness and size by drawing blood in, and that fades after use. Pumps are great for sensation and short-term firmness, but anyone promising permanent gains from one is selling you a story.
How often should I replace a toy?
Non-porous silicone, glass, and steel can last years with good care. Porous soft sleeves wear out faster, so replace them once they get tacky, discolored, or develop a smell that won't wash out. When in doubt, retire it.
If you're ready to start somewhere easy and satisfying, browse our male masturbators and take it at your own pace. There's no wrong reason to be curious, and no rush. You can always come back for the next thing once you know what you like.
Written by Emily Roth. Updated October 2026.
About the author
Emily Roth spent years behind the counter of an intimacy shop before writing about sexual wellness for real people. She answers the awkward questions honestly, from real experience, no judgment. Follow her on Instagram.
