Sex Toys for Couples: A Friendly Buying Guide

Couples & Intimacy

The best sex toys for couples are the ones you both feel relaxed reaching for: vibrating cock rings, remote-control vibrators, hands-free clitoral toys, and beginner bondage kits. They add sensation and a little play to what you already do together, and the good ones work with your bodies instead of taking over.

I'm Emily. For years I worked behind the counter of a sexual-wellness shop, and couples were my favorite people to help, usually because they walked in a little nervous and left laughing. Here's everything I used to tell them across the counter, minus the awkward pauses.

What actually makes a toy "couple-friendly"

A toy earns the couples label when it's easy to bring a second person into. Some toys are built for one body and one pair of hands. Couple-friendly toys leave room for both of you, either because your partner controls it, it's worn during sex, or it's shaped so nobody has to contort to reach it.

The question I got most at the counter was some version of "will this replace me?" My honest answer, every time: no. A toy is a tool, not a stand-in. The couples who had the most fun treated it like adding music to a room you both already liked being in.

• Hands-free or partner-controlled. You want to stay connected, not turn into a technician fiddling with buttons.
• Comfortable to wear or hold during sex, not just something you use taking turns.
• Quiet enough that it doesn't become the loudest thing in the room. I'll be honest, wands are the exception here.
• Simple controls you can find in the dark on the first night.

The best types of sex toys for couples

There's no single "best" toy, only the best fit for what you two are curious about. Here's how the main categories actually feel, and who tends to love each one. If you'd rather browse everything in one place, our couples toys collection is a good starting point.

A vibrating cock ring is the toy I handed to more first-time couples than anything else, because both people feel it and nobody has to hold anything. For couples who liked the idea of teasing across the room or across the country, a remote-control vibrator was the one that got the biggest grin. And if the goal was making sure she reliably finishes, a good clitoral stimulator did more for couples than any fancier gadget on the shelf.

How to choose your first one together

Pick based on what you're both already curious about, not on whatever has the most functions. I watched plenty of couples buy the 30-mode do-everything toy and then only ever use setting two.

• Name the goal. More sensation during sex? Better orgasms for her? Playful control? Each points to a different toy.
• Start small and shared. A ring or a clitoral toy is less intimidating than a big kit for a first buy.
• Match your setup. Rechargeable is my default for couples; you don't want to be hunting for batteries mid-moment.
• Read the size honestly. Measure against something in your kitchen drawer if the description gives dimensions. It's less of a surprise that way.

The first time a nervous couple asked me to just pick for them, I reached for a stretchy silicone vibrating ring and a small bottle of water-based lube. They came back two weeks later and bought one for a friend's wedding gift. Simple wins.

Body-safe materials and safety, the part nobody should skip

This is the one area where I'd push back on customers who only cared about price. The material touching the most sensitive skin you've got matters more than the feature list.

• Choose nonporous, body-safe silicone, ABS plastic, glass, or stainless steel. These don't trap bacteria and clean up easily.
• Avoid porous "jelly" or vague "TPR blends" with a strong chemical smell. Porous material can't be fully cleaned. If it stinks in the package, that's your answer.
• Lube rules: water-based lube plays nice with everything. Keep silicone lube away from silicone toys, it can degrade the surface over time.
• Anything that goes anywhere near the back door needs a flared base. No exceptions, and that's the one rule I never softened for anyone.

How to actually bring it up with your partner

The buying part is easy. The conversation is where most people freeze. Here's what worked for the customers who came back happy.

Bring it up outside the bedroom, fully clothed, no pressure attached. Frame it as something for both of you, not a fix for a problem. "I saw this and thought it could be fun for us" lands a lot softer than anything that sounds like a review of their performance. Let them look at options with you. Choosing together turns a potentially loaded moment into a shared one, and it means the toy shows up as a team decision instead of a surprise.

If your partner seems unsure, start with something gentle and low-stakes like a blindfold or a soft tie from a couples set before anything battery-powered. Curiosity grows faster when nobody feels tested.

Keeping it clean and lasting

• Wash before and after every use with warm water and a mild, unscented soap, or a proper toy cleaner.
• Dry it fully before storing, and keep toys apart so materials don't react with each other over time.
• Store them in a cloth bag or their box, not loose in a drawer collecting lint.
• Check charging ports and seams now and then. A cracked seam means it's time to retire it.

FAQ

What's the best sex toy for couples if we've never used one?

Start with a vibrating cock ring or a clitoral toy. Both are simple, add sensation for both partners, and don't require any special technique. They're the two I recommended most to first-timers because they're hard to get wrong.

Are couples sex toys safe to use during sex?

Yes, as long as you choose body-safe materials and use plenty of water-based lube. Cock rings and clitoral toys are designed to be worn or held during sex. Just start on low settings and stop if anything feels uncomfortable or numb.

Do vibrating cock rings actually help?

They can, in two ways. The snug fit can help some people stay firmer a little longer, and the vibration at the base gives extra stimulation to both partners during penetration. Fit matters most, so pick a stretchy silicone one to start.

What material is safest for couples toys?

Nonporous, body-safe silicone is the easiest all-around choice, along with ABS plastic, glass, and stainless steel. Skip porous jelly-style materials that can't be fully cleaned, especially anything with a strong chemical odor.

How do I bring up sex toys without my partner feeling insecure?

Talk about it outside the bedroom and frame it as something fun for both of you, not a fix. Choosing the toy together is the biggest trick, since it turns a nervous moment into a shared decision nobody feels judged by.

A gentle nudge before you go

Take your time, talk it through, and pick something you're both a little excited about. That mix of curiosity and honesty is what actually makes this fun. When you're ready to look, browse our couples toys collection and start with whatever made you smile reading this.

Written by Emily Roth. Updated September 2026.