Adult Toy Store Guide: How to Shop Smart and Safe
A great adult toy store sells only body-safe products, labels every material honestly, protects your privacy, and helps you choose instead of pushing the priciest thing on the shelf. The best ones, online or in person, treat you like a person with a real question, not a sale to close. I know that because I spent years answering those questions from the other side of the counter.
I'm Emily. I'm 48, and for a long stretch of my life I worked the floor of a small sexual-wellness shop. I've handed a first vibrator across the counter to a shaking newlywed, talked a retired schoolteacher through her first solo purchase, and helped more couples than I can count find something they were both excited about. This guide is the conversation I used to have in the store, written down honestly so you can shop with confidence.
What a good adult toy store actually does for you
The store matters as much as the toy. Anybody can put a wall of products in front of you. A good shop protects your body and your privacy while it does it. Here's what I told nervous customers to check for, and what I still check for myself.
- Honest material labels. Real stores tell you exactly what a toy is made of. If a product only says "body-safe" with no material named, that's a soft dodge, not an answer.
- A range of prices that isn't all cheap. A store that sells nothing over twenty dollars is usually selling porous novelty toys. A good shop carries an entry level you can actually trust.
- Discreet shipping and billing. Plain outer box, no product names on the label, and a neutral name on your card statement. Ask before you buy if it isn't stated.
- Staff or content that guides instead of hypes. The best sign of a good store is that it tells you the downsides too. Louder than most. Needs lube. Not great for beginners. That honesty is how you know they're on your side.
If you want to see how a shop presents its range, browsing the best sellers is a fast read on whether it leans toward quality staples or gimmicks.
The main categories, and who each one is really for
The single most common thing customers said to me was some version of "I don't even know where to start." That's normal. There are really only a handful of buckets, and once you know which one fits your body and your curiosity, the wall of products gets a lot smaller. Here's the honest breakdown.
| Type | Best for | Honest note |
|---|---|---|
| External / clitoral vibrators | Most beginners, since the majority of people orgasm from outside touch | The safest, most reliable place to start |
| Wand massagers | People who want strong, broad, rumbly power | Intense and a little loud, so start on the low setting |
| Internal / G-spot toys | Once you know you enjoy penetration | The curve does the work, so aim toward the front wall |
| Couples toys | Partners who want to add sensation together | Buy something you're both a little excited about, not a compromise |
| Dildos (non-vibrating) | Penetration with full control of pace and angle | Silicone or glass only, and use plenty of lube |
If you're not sure which bucket is yours, start with a clitoral stimulator. In my years on the floor, that was the one people came back to thank me for the most.
Body-safe materials, in plain English
This is the part I got most protective about behind the counter, because it's the part that actually touches you. A toy goes on some of the most sensitive skin you have. Material is not a detail.
- 100% silicone. My default recommendation. Nonporous, so it doesn't trap bacteria, and it warms to your body. Look for the words "100% silicone," not "silicone blend."
- Glass and stainless steel. Also nonporous and easy to clean. They hold temperature, so a quick warm or cool changes the sensation. Sturdier than people expect.
- ABS plastic. Common on the hard outside of vibrators. Safe and easy to wipe down.
- Materials I steer people away from: jelly, TPR blends of unknown makeup, and anything with a strong chemical smell straight out of the box. Porous materials can hold bacteria and can't be fully sanitized. If it smells like a shower curtain, put it down.
Here's a real tell I learned to trust: press your thumbnail gently into the toy. Quality silicone springs right back and feels dry-soft, almost like skin. Cheap porous material stays a little tacky and grabs at your finger. Your senses are a decent lab if the label is vague.
How to choose your first toy without overthinking it
The first time a genuinely nervous first-timer stood in front of me, she'd been circling the store for ten minutes pretending to read the same box. What actually helped her wasn't a spec sheet. It was three simple questions. Ask yourself the same ones.
- Where do you already know you feel the most? If you're not sure, start external. It works for the most people and there's no learning curve.
- How much power do you want? Gentle and buzzy is easy to ease into. Deep and rumbly, like a wand massager, is more intense and worth respecting on the first try.
- Quiet or don't care? If you share thin walls, motor noise matters. Rumbly motors tend to be quieter than high, buzzy ones.
On budget, I'll be straight with you. Your first real toy usually lands somewhere in the thirty to eighty dollar range. Under that, you're often paying for porous material and a weak motor that dies in a month. You do not need the top of the line to start. You do need something made of a material you can trust.
Care, cleaning, and storage
People forget this part in the store and regret it at home. Good care keeps a body-safe toy body-safe, and it makes a good toy last for years.
- Clean before and after every use. Warm water and a gentle unscented soap covers most silicone, glass, and steel toys. Let it air dry fully.
- Match your lube to your material. Water-based lube is the safe bet with everything. Silicone lube can degrade some silicone toys, so when in doubt, go water-based.
- Store them separately. Some materials react when they sit skin-to-skin in a drawer for months. A cotton bag or their own box keeps them from getting sticky.
- Pull the batteries or charge and store. Leaving a rechargeable dead for a year kills the battery. A quick top-up every few months keeps it healthy.
Shopping online versus walking in
I loved the in-store conversations, but I'll tell you honestly that most people today shop better online, and here's why. You get more time to read materials and honest notes, a far bigger selection than any physical wall can hold, and real privacy. No one is reading over your shoulder.
The one thing a good store owes you online is discretion. Before you check out, confirm the outer packaging is plain and the charge on your statement is a neutral name. A reputable adult toy store states both clearly. If you and a partner are browsing together, a shared cart of couples toys is honestly a lovely, low-pressure way to talk about what you're each curious about.
FAQ
What should I look for in an adult toy store?
Look for honestly labeled materials, a price range that isn't all cheap novelty, discreet shipping and billing, and product info that names the downsides, not just the hype. A store that tells you what a toy isn't good for is a store you can trust.
Are adult toy stores discreet with shipping and billing?
Good ones are. That means a plain outer box with no product names on the label and a neutral business name on your card statement. If a store doesn't say so on the product or checkout page, ask before you buy.
What's the best first toy for a beginner?
An external, clitoral vibrator is the most reliable starting point, because the majority of people orgasm from outside stimulation. It has almost no learning curve and works well solo or with a partner.
Is silicone really safer than other materials?
For most toys, yes. Silicone is nonporous, so it doesn't trap bacteria and can be cleaned thoroughly. Porous materials like jelly and unknown blends can't be fully sanitized, which is why I steer people toward 100% silicone, glass, or steel.
How much should I spend on my first toy?
Most trustworthy first toys land between thirty and eighty dollars. Below that you're often paying for porous material and a motor that won't last. You don't need the most expensive option, you need a body-safe one.
Can couples shop together for toys?
Absolutely, and it's one of the easiest ways to start a conversation about what you both want. Browse a couples collection together and pick something you're each a little excited about instead of settling on a compromise.
If you take one thing from all my years behind that counter, let it be this: start where your body already feels good, choose a material you can trust, and go at your own pace. When you're ready to look, our vibrators collection is a warm, low-pressure place to begin.
Written by Emily Roth. Updated September 2026.
About the author
Emily Roth spent years behind the counter of an intimacy shop before writing about sexual wellness for real people. She answers the awkward questions honestly, from real experience, no judgment. Follow her on Instagram.
